- Use condoms for anal or vaginal sex
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Don't get semen or vaginal fluids in your
mouth.
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Don't have mouth to rectum contact.
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Don't share needles, clean them with bleach if you do.
ABOUT HIV
HIV is the virus that causes AIDS. HIV is spread when semen or blood
passes from an HIV+ person into the bloodstream of another person.
To enter the bloodstream, the virus must enter through a break in
the skin or tissue in the mouth, or pass through the lining of the
rectum or enter the tip of the penis. Tops and bottoms are both at
risk.
ABOUT DRUGS AND ALCOHOL
Most drugs affect our inhibitions about sex. They can also affect our
judgment. The most important thing to remember when mixing sex and
any drug is to plan ahead. Always have condoms and water-based lube
anywhere you may be having sex.
A WORD ABOUT LUBE
Always use water-based lube with condoms. Do not use Crisco, Vaseline,
olive oil, chocolate syrup or anything else with oil in it. Oil causes
latex condoms to break down resulting in holes, tears and breaking.
Look for the words "water-based" on the label. Happy shopping!
HOW TO USE CONDOMS
1. First of all always use condoms. Don't store condoms
in a glove compartment or your wallet. Don't use them after the expiration
date. Don't open them with your teeth.
2. Put the condom on after you get hard. Put a few drops of water-based
lubricant inside the tip of the condom.
3. Squeeze the tip of the condom to leave some extra space and roll
the rest down the shaft.
3.5 If the penis is intact (has a foreskin), put the condom on with
the foreskin pushed back. Once the shaft is covered, push the foreskin
forward (toward the tip). This lets the foreskin move without breaking
the condom.
4. Put more water-based lubricant of the outside of the condom.
5. After you come, hold the base of the condom and pull out.
6. Throw the condom away; don't reuse condoms. Use a new condom every
time you have sex.
OTHER HEALTH FACTORS MAY AFFECT RISK
The presence of other sexually transmitted diseases (STD's) can increase
the likelihood of transmission through providing easier ways for
the virus to enter the body. Rates of STD's are low among gay men.
We can keep them that way! You may or may not have any symptoms,
which can include sores, a discharge, or sore throat.
Some people are more susceptible to infections than others. Some people
have better oral hygiene than others. Bleeding gums, sores in the
mouth, and abscessed teeth may increase the likelihood of transmission.
HIV-positive men may be more or less capable of infecting others,
depending on how long they've been infected themselves.
WHAT CAN YOU DO?
Avoid ejaculating in someone's mouth or having them
ejaculate in yours.
If you see something suspicious - a sore or a discharge - on someone's
penis, avoid going down on it.
Know your STD status and don't put yourself or others at unnecessary
risk. Get checked for STD's including gonorrhea, herpes, and syphilis.
Consider using condoms for oral sex. Try Kimono Micro Thins. And don't
knock it until you've tried it.
Avoid deep throating. It can irritate the tissue at the back of the
throat, and possibly provide a more efficient route for HIV to enter
the body.
Floss and brush regularly - but not right before you have oral sex.
If you want to freshen up your breath before kissing your partner,
try mouthwash. Schedule a dental check-up too!
Above all, make the choice that's right for you. If
ten minutes - or ten hours - after you've had sex, you're anxious
about what you did, that's a good time to consider reducing your
risk.
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ABOUT ORAL SEX
Oral sex is considered to be much less risky than anal sex. There
are ways to make it safer. You can choose to use a condom. Avoid
getting cum in your mouth. By not brushing or flossing your teeth
just before oral sex, you can reduce the risk of bleeding. Avoid
vigorous penis probing in back of your throat. You can make rimming
safer by using a dental dam, saran wrap, or another barrier. It's
your choice.
ORAL SEX - IT's UP TO YOU
If you have a reasonably active sex life, and try to follow the various
instructions regarding when to floss and brush, you can end up
doing endless calculations. If you're supposed to wait 24 hours
after you floss but you're having sex a couple times during the
weekend, just when do you get the floss out? Basically, a little
routine maintenance will go a long way. Keep your mouth in good
health, floss regularly, brush regularly. If you think you're having
sex in the immediate future, give your gums a break for a bit.
Meanwhile, when you're sucking, avoid having him pound his dick really
hard against the back of your throat. It may irritate the tissues
in the back of your throat, making them more absorbent and it easier
for the virus to get into your bloodstream.
Wearing a condom is one possibility, although many guys don't like
it. (Keep in mind we're not sure how many men have tried it.) They
make condoms with various flavors. And if you don't like the flavors,
there are unlubed ones that you can flavor with your favorite food.
Just watch the Hershey's chocolate syrup and other products that
have oil in them. They can dissolve the sturdiest piece of latex.
There's also a basic hygiene question for us all to think about.
Would you drink from a perfect stranger's glass? Would you put
your mouth around a perfect stranger's dick?
You might, particularly if there are no creepy-crawly things floating
in the glass, or oozing from the head of his dick. But if on your
partner's penis you see a sore, or a colored ooze, or something
that looks like a zit, you might want to pause. Maybe there's something
or someone else to do. Remember that HIV isn't the only thing you
can catch from sucking dick. There are other sexually transmitted
diseases that you can get from sucking, or getting sucked. Many
of them are treatable, but they're just plain not good for you.
One useful gauge to help manage this is your own anxiety level. If
ten minutes, or ten hours after sucking dick, you're biting your
fingernails and tossing and turning in bed, you may want to stop
to consider what you're doing. Sex - good, hot, sex, no matter whom
it's with - is something that's supposed to feel good. It's most
definitely not something that's supposed to make you feel worse afterwards.
No matter what, it's your choice. It's important that you make decisions
- whether you're positive or negative - that are healthy and informed
for you and your partner. The decisions you make are up to you.
The San Francisco Department of Public Health has recorded
at least three cases of men who have become infected with HIV through
oral sex. This isn't very many, considering how many men have oral
sex. Other cases have been reported elsewhere.
Unfortunately, we can't tell you "just do it," and we can't
tell you "just say no." We can give you facts to help you
make the choice that's right for you. Unprotected oral sex is certainly
much safer than unprotected anal sex.
The lining of the mouth is much tougher and less permeable
than the lining of the anus.
Saliva may neutralize the virus.
It's easier to get semen out of your mouth than it is your anus.
Receptive oral sex - sucking dick, or going down on someone - is certainly
riskier than having someone suck you.
HIV is in pre-cum, as well as in semen. But there's usually less pre-cum
than semen during any one sexual act. It's unlikely that pre-cum by
itself can transmit HIV, but it's possible.
The length and intensity of the sexual act may affect transmission.
If his dick is pounding against the back of your throat, your tissues
may become irritated, becoming more permeable and increasing the
likelihood of infection.
Rimming
Also known as: Anilingus
One man liked to rim his partner but only after he sprayed
the area with his favorite cologne. His partner came to see me with
a terrible skin allergy around his anus. The skin was red and cracked
and burned terribly. We traced the allergy to the cologne.
Rimming (anilingus) is a form of oral sex whereby you
kiss, lick or probe your partner's anus with your tongue. The very
idea repulses some while exciting others. Not everyone rims and it
is your choice whether or not to partake.
Physiology
The skin around your anus is rich in sensory nerves that, when stimulated,
can drive you (or your partner) wild. There are no sensory nerves for
pleasure more than an inch or two inside your anus. When you gently
stimulate these nerves around your anus, your sphincter muscles contract
and your anus twitches. No, this isn't some type of anal seizure.
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Hygiene
An asshole will always be an asshole and you can't sterilize it. At best,
you can gently wash the skin with a moist cloth to remove any fecal residue.
Avoid wet tissues or toilet paper that can flake and leave unappetizing
bits of paper behind. A little perfume or aromatic oil may help with smells,
but they can taste bad. Oils can also damage a condom if you are going
to have protected anal sex.
Problems
The biggest problem many people face with rimming is getting their partner
to do it in the first place. Again, it isn't for everyone. If your partner
is bothered by your hygiene (or lack thereof) don't get bent out of shape.
Listen to what he has to say -- he might be right. You may want to wash
with a mild soap and gently dry the area. Something sweet that your partner
likes (honey, chocolate syrup) strategically dabbed around your anus might
help get your partner used to rimming. (Again, fat-based foods can damage
condoms).
If you are a man, you can try and get your partner used to the idea of
rimming by having him concentrate his efforts on your scrotum and perineum
(the area under your scrotum). Most men will do this and if he gets into
it his tongue might just drift further south.
For women, it's just a short lick from the clit down that slippery slope
to the anus.
And for both women and men, a little arching of your back or lifting
your legs in the air couldn't hurt either.
Complications
STD's (Sexually Transmitted Disease Any virus, bacterium or parasite which
is transmitted through sexual contact. Other names: STD, STD's) : Rimming has
no risk of transmitting HIV (Human Immunodeficiency Virus) is the virus that
causes AIDS (Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome). AIDS is the most severe phase
of the infection and it is characterized by secondary infections that are caused
by severe immune system deficiency. Other names: Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome,
AIDS, Human Immunodeficiency Virus) -- unless your partner bites you or
you have open sores. Hepatitis A (Any inflammation of your liver, though
often refers to infections by Hepatitis A,B,C,D,E,F or G. Other names: Yellow
Jaundice) can be spread during rimming, but a vaccination will protect you from
this terrible infection. There are other STD's commonly spread during rimming:
gonorrhea (With more than one million new cases reported each year (that doesn't
include unreported cases that double this figure), gonorrhea is the most common
STD worldwide and the most commonly reported communicable disease in the U.S.
It can infect many different parts of your body: mouth, throat, urethra (the
tube in your penis), anus or vagina. Other names: GC, "Clap", VD, "Drip",
Urethritis, Pelvic Inflammatory Disease, PID) ,herpes (An infection caused by
the herpes virus and characterized by blisters and sores on your genitals and/or
mouth. Other names: Cold Sores, Herpes Simplex, Genital Herpes, Oral Herpes)
and condyloma (Genital Warts Warts in and around the genital area caused by the
human papillomavirus (HPV). Other names: Condyloma, Venereal Warts, Anal Warts,
Human Papilloma Virus, HPV) .
Parasites:
Parasites are a frequent complication of rimming. No matter how hard you
scrub your partner's anus, you will not remove all of the parasite eggs;
they are microscopic. Your partner may not have any symptoms of infection
and may unknowingly pass it on to you. Giardia lamblia and Entamoeba histolytica
are the most common parasites spread during rimming. Giardia lamblia causes
a condition known generally as giardia and it is the most common parasitic
infection in the U.S. The parasite lives in your small intestine and its
cysts (eggs) leave your body with your stool. If you ingest these cysts
the organism will grow in your small intestine. You might not have any
symptoms or you might experience upper abdominal pain, non-bloody diarrhea
and nausea. If you have these symptoms, discuss a parasite test with your
doctor. An antibiotic, Metronidazole (flagyl), cures the infection.
Amebiaisis or amebic dysentery is another common parasitic infection
passed during rimming. This parasite lives in your colon and its eggs
leave your body in your stool. Although you may be symptom free, many
people complain of crampy abdominal pain, bloody diarrhea, and fever.
Doctors diagnose the infection by examining your stool or with a positive
blood test for parasite antibodies. Metronidazole (flagyl) cures the
infection.
Infectious diarrhea: As with parasites, diarrhea-causing bacteria can
leave your partner's colon and enter your body during rimming. No matter
how hard you scrub the anus you will not sterilize it and these microscopic
bacteria will be left behind. Your partner may not have any symptoms
and won't know if you catch it. The most common types of diarrhea-causing
bacteria are Salmonella, Shigella and Campylobacter. They cause crampy
abdominal pain, diarrhea (can be bloody), fever and vomiting. Most often
these infections run their course and go away. Antibiotics are not often
recommended, except in the most severe cases or in people with HIV, because
they can cause you to become a chronic carrier (someone who never gets
rid of the infection and can pass it on to others; chronic carriers do
not feel sick). Ciprofloxacin (Cipro) is an antibiotic commonly used
to treat infectious diarrhea.
Skin infections: If your partner cuts, scrapes or bites your skin, cleanse
the area well with an antibacterial soap. Soaking in warm water also
helps to reduce the chances of infection. Repeat this several times a
day until healing occurs. If swelling, pain or redness develops, see
your doctor.
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